How to Support Others When Life is Messy

Dirty, covered with cobwebs, constantly scratching bug bites and feeling like we’re trapped in a vine labyrinth sound bad enough, but life is also full of dislikes, lust, gossip, broken relationships, lies (even little white ones can be destructive), jealousy, arguments, controversy,  sickness, separation, loss, divorce, abuse, and death. Yes, life is messy, but the messy doesn’t have to be life ending.

Life is Messy

Sometimes messes are not caused by us

Ways to support others in their mess:

  • Sit and listen to the description of their mess. Don’t judge or down play their emotion.
  • Give them a hug, and then pray with them, to allow God to comfort them in their mess.
  • Remind them about the good things life offers to everyone: beauty, love, peace, kindness, etc.
  • Brainstorm some ways or places you can both serve others despite having your own messes.
  • Be honest about yourself. In your mess, you might be a lighthouse for another person.
  • Remind them that some messes will continue to come and go; and are not necessarily something they caused to happen.

I think God intended life to be messy so we would always go to Him to seek His comfort and love. Thankfully, He doesn’t disappoint us; as we often disappoint one another.

Things to avoid in the conversations:

  • Talking about the mess in other people’s lives instead of looking at our own mess.
  • Never assume that something that would be a mess in our lives would also be a mess for someone else.
  • Don’t become defensive and argumentative when someone points out what they would consider to be a mess in your life.
  • Don’t add a mess on top of another mess. Clean up each one the best you can before tackling the next one.
  • Don’t blame it on a lack of prayer, faith, or trust in God.
  • Any negativity.

Life will always be messy, but it doesn’t have to stop us from living and shining our lights for God. I believe our lights are the brightest when we’re going through the mess.




By | 2016-11-03T00:38:12+00:00 July 9th, 2016|Life Experiences, relationships, Self-Help|0 Comments

About the Author:

My name is Susan W (sue) Corbran. I am a writer, a Creative Memories consultant, a volunteer in Children's Ministry at my church, and an advocate for widows and gay Christians. I love helping people - whether it is by sharing my stories; consulting with others on how to preserve their most precious memories - photos and ways to tell their stories; or helping children learn about God - and for them to know that He loves them, no matter what! I am a Mom and a Grandma. I love to golf, travel, read, and listen to music (and play the piano and guitar, when available - simple songs!). Oh and I love to write - so be sure to read some of my blogs. I am a co-author of the book Emerge: Real Stories of Courage and Truth, An Amazon Best Seller, 2015, along with The Call to Soar, an Amazon Best Seller, 2016. An author of the ebook Five Simple Ways to Love Gay Christians You Need to Know Now, 2017, and other numerous blogs and articles for magazine contests. This year, 2017, I plan to publish a series of books for young adult (ages 9-14) in the genre of Christian Life. I also hope to publish a book of childhood memories (to share with my grandchildren). My hope is that God willl be praised and glorified by my writing for Him.

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