I finally found my place in the world, almost three years after my husband died. My journey began in 2012 when my husband Barry was diagnosed with an incurable cancer in his esophagus. We were told that after 6 months, 50% of the patients were still living. This gave us some hope, that perhaps someone would find a cure for it; but we also knew the reality, that Barry was going to die sometime soon. The thought of living the rest of my life without him scared me.
I Found My Way Through the Grief
I wrote the chapter, “Finding My Way” in the best selling book Emerge. The story was about the love of my life whom I wanted to be married to for the rest of my life, but God had other plans. My written words describe how we met, courted, endured the ups and downs of married life, along with his heart-breaking news; leaving me with much doubt and uncertainty.
My chapter was truly the beginning of finding my way, my place in this world. Although I knew the next step should have been to get a job and secure income, I decided to take this time and continue writing; and volunteer at church. I learned to trust God to provide for me.
But the waves of grief kept coming, hitting me out of the blue. I was never prepared with a box of Kleenex near me. By the end of the second year, I found myself lonely and depressed, thereby admitting my need for medicine. It was time to take care of myself, because I also had 6 adult children and 5 grandchildren counting on me to be there.
Starting Over With Several Goals in Mind
In January of 2016, I started a program called Soar to Success with One Degree Shift. My wonderful friend and coach Cassandra Washington created this community for women to discover their dreams and passions and realize their true purpose. Through her coaching, we learn how to deal with our doubts and fears, and find strategies to overcome them. With our intentions written down, we stay in accountability with ourselves, and our dreams come true.
My three month project was to write a book about my childhood. By the time the course was over, I had over 55K words written. Within the program, I was able to take the lead during some small group conference calls, continue to encourage the other participants, and created a long list of empowering beliefs that I still glance at every week, and repeat out loud to scare all those fears away. I am enough and I have something worthy to say that will help others. I have a purpose to fulfill. Yes, I can accomplish anything I want now.
I Found My Gift and I Can Be Successful
Our final conference call was on April 21, 2016. I was overwhelmed with emotions. For the first time since Barry died, I realized that I can be successful, even without him by my side. I am capable of living my life to the best of my ability – and having fun along the way as well. I finally found my way – my passion, my niche – and it is writing and sharing life’s journeys with others.